I must be desperate.
I find myself falling in love too easily these days. The slightest attention I get from a girl and I think too much of it. Some are just minor infatuations, but the others, the really painful ones, make me feel stupid.
I have found it relatively easy to pull someone in a club and spend the night with them, but I choose not to do it. I have never had a proper relationship. Nothing with meaning.
I have fallen for girls online on sites such as twitter and facebook. But it is silly, there is no interaction, no body language. You can talk to people and get the completely wrong idea of the person they are.
The other problem is distance. I have never wanted a long distance relationship, it has never appealed to me. But since coming to Uni, and realising that I am like THE youngest person here, and the girls I favour are usually a year or two younger than me. This leads me to looking back home. But if I find someone to love back home, I would barely see them, as i have like a month off at christmas and a month off at easter. I just wouldn't be there with them enough.
I talk to this girl, who i met only once, and she is absolutely perfect. We could talk for hours on end about absolutely nothing and still enjoy it but, even though I like her, it doesn't matter if she likes me or not, it just wont work out, we just live too far apart.
I need somebody to care for. Someone who WANTS to be cared for, someone i can hug and just fall asleep with, someone who is always happy to see me, someone who trusts me, someone who would get jealous if i talk to other girls but, also someone who has their own life and doesn't depend on me.
I know I am not too much of an ugly person, I know I have decent social skills, I have a good sense of humour and I am very caring. But I just can't seem to show that, otherwise, people just dont care for that.
I may only be 18 and still young, but I am still lonely :/
Doubt this post will reach many people. Call me a hypocrit but, I hate stupid emotional vents like this.